World Suicide Prevention Day
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, which kicks off a month of raising awareness and encourages people to talk about this difficult topic without stigma. The message of this event is that suicide can be prevented.
This may feel like an unusual topic for Moonstone, but I wanted to write about it as I’ve lost a handful of friends to suicide over the years.
The first friend I want to talk about is Tessa*, who I knew through work and who I played my first ever game of D&D (3.5e) with. We met in a meeting room after work, surrounded by snacks, and eliciting strange looks from our colleagues who worked late outside. Our small group had so much fun, and it opened the door for me to take part in other in-person gaming activities, like Magic the Gathering, other RPGs, and ultimately Moonstone. Tessa would make me howl with laughter and was a wonderful colleague, but when I left that organisation we lost touch, other than via social media.
Tessa took her life in early 2018 and I still think about the shenanigans we got up to in game.
Yes, we used Lego figures during one of our games that James GM’d!
A few years after the first game of D&D I began regularly playing 1e Pathfinder and it sparked a greater love of RPGs that I still have. I was gaming with a couple of groups, one of which included James*. James was a lovely guy who played a lazy wizard called Sen and a life oracle called Raef among other characters. He would always leave his dice on the table with the highest number pointing up, “So that over time I’m hoping gravity or something will make them roll like that more often.” I adopted that habit and still do it, and it makes me think of him every time I rearrange my dice.
James died by suicide in early 2022, just over a year ago at the time I’m writing, and I think of him often.
Both Tessa and James were surrounded by loving friends and family, including gaming friends, yet they felt there was no alternative. It makes me sad that they ended up feeling that way, but their story is sadly not unique. It’s estimated 703,000 people a year take their life (across the world).
World Suicide Prevention Day gives me an opportunity to share my friends’ stories and to say this: If you feel trapped, or that you’re not worth helping, or that you have no other alternative, then I’d like to assure you that you do matter. You don’t need to struggle alone.
Please take the brave step of confiding in someone you care about, as they will care about you and want to help. There are professionals who can help you, so please contact them. If you don’t already game, take yourself to a board game café or local gaming store and join in. Your presence will be welcome, and you’ll find like-minded people to chat to.
If you’re worried about a friend then don’t just ask them if they’re ok, follow up with “Tell me honestly, are you ok?” Be there to listen and direct them to professionals if they need it. Look after yourself too. There are resources online if you want to find out more about how to help someone you think might be suicidal.
I regret not asking Tessa and James if they were ok when I had the chance. I hope this post helps at least one person. #CreatingHopeThroughAction is a reminder that there is an alternative to suicide. Our actions, no matter how big or small, may provide hope to those who are struggling.
From Suzie Johnston / V.G. Thorne (Narrative Lead)
*Names changed for privacy